Latest

My Latest Posts

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• Life alternativeOctober 13, 2024
  #Poetry  Who are we to this world other than hazards to our self  we thrive on self destruction and wishing we were someone else We want someone to relate but… Read more: Life alternative
• I hateOctober 10, 2024
  I hate the fact that I was so focused on you because of my dogs .I hate the fact that they’re depressed and I hate knowing that I’m the cause… Read more: I hate
• Birthday howOctober 7, 2024
  Happy birthday to the w****  today I turned 34  and I don’t even remember my birth date  I’m f****** crazy  in the year too late  and nothing’s ever going to… Read more: Birthday how
• You couldn’t liveOctober 7, 2024
  Those days seem so long ago But i knew before you passed You lived life with to much passion  and your fire burned to fast I wasnt ready for it… Read more: You couldn’t live
• Stay deadOctober 7, 2024
  I love that no one’s here to give narcan Or give me mouth to mouth  You can’t regret reviving me  If I’m the only one around  I hope I turn… Read more: Stay dead
• Could weOctober 6, 2024
  For me to be sober Could he have still died? Could both of us have lived Without suicide where would I be If leaving him weren’t the worst thing I… Read more: Could we

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I’ve been homeless pretty much since I was fifteen. My mom kicked me out and blamed my dad and I haven’t lived with them for more than two weeks ever since. I also have not had much stability since because I’m not easy to live with and I’m not that lucky. I lived with my ex boyfriend, then with his brother, with friends in va, New Jersey in ab24/7 daycare then in a tattoo shop, then my friends and I became strippers and had a trailer, back to Jersey and that’s where I met my pen pal from home named joe and when I came home when I was 19 I lived with him on and off until I had my daughter at 22 and again on and off after I came home from Texas in 2019. In 2021 I got kicked out of the trailer court because the girl I got my pittbulls from kept calling animal control and using a dog whistle causing them to terrify the neighbors and be all out uncontrollable.
First I moved into an empty trailer with no lights or water on 19 acres of land. I spent my time chopping firewood and writing and really found myself there but the lady was insane and came home one night right before my daughter came to visit and kicked us out by throwing all our stuff out the door while I was asleep. The neighbors came and somehow she made me out to be the bad guy instead of her who was drunk and insane. Brandy hated the idea of her house even being lived in by her and couldn’t witness anything out of place for a moment and was extremely ocd about any dirt. We went to the trailer court for the morning and hid on the rail road tracks before moving in with Roger whom I had met on Facebook and was definitely not interested in. He was nice enough but a recovering alcoholic and I did not know that until a few nights before my daughter arrived and he started standing in my doorway and refusing to allow me to close the door or separate our dogs and they ended up fighting, my dog inevitably pulling him into it and drawing blood. That was the night my daughter was to come and we cashed Brandy back and she took us to her house to her my daughter visit there. She got there after dark and e couldn’t do much with no light but she started a flamingo mural by candle light in the living room that she was very excited about. The next day we went to go get what was life from Roger’s and brandy left us there because she didn’t like that my daughter took my side in everything and stood up for me/? a few days after that we left Rogers and my daughter stayed with my mother while I got the five dogs too my friend Doug’s house who is the uncle of my best friend Cory. We lived in their living room for the rest of the summer. When my daughter left, I moved outside to the tent because of being hit on and he expected sex. I wasn’t allowed to talk to my male friends because that would make him jealous because obviously I was his property even though I had called him my uncle for years. Eventually I met Joe and thought I was in love and we moved in with his mom where the dogs lived outside which made me move into the van. Eventually she hated me so we didn’t even stay in the yard although she called the disability office and stated getting half my check claiming I wasn’t paying bills where I didn’t live. Around thanksviingi met who I thought was my biological grandfather and moved in with him then moved to his shed because he decided it was ok to practice incest then back to the van and then My ex-boyfriend’s wife’s house while he was working out of town and I began to wonder if she didn’t kill him because he was working full time and collecting a disability check. She was getting rid of all his belongings. I didn’t see him once when I lived there. I ended up making a lot of calls and he was alive but she was making plans and they are now divorced. After that I moved into the old man’s truck while he was in jail and in the night I moved in where I am now, The landlord and the police told me to take truck off the property consider I had the keys to it given to me the day I met the old man with witnesses. I’ve been living in the middle of no where with a stranger ever since the end of January and while it’s been strange to say the least is the healthiest living situation I’ve ever been in considering he has never hit on me and isn’t asked me to pay anything and doesn’t abuse me in any type of way. He’s strange and I’ll get into that another time.
My homeless dog year was a blast honestly and I’m glad I had it. My daughter also enjoyed her visit last year and I started thinking about foster children because she wanted to adopt some of the kids that help me take care of. She hated how the children’s mother yelled at them and so she invited every kid in the neighborhood to come with us and they would flock to us when we went to the creeks and that’s what we would do every day all summer. me in about 10 to 15 kids would walk around the neighborhoods and go in the creek and eat hotdogs and s’mores and camp and it’s actually very sad how parents would check on them or even wanted to meet me. It was like the children just wanted to be around mom who could tattle to and who would pay attention to them and the mom just wanted somebody to take the kids. The kids were starving for something that they would never have and it was just a basic human necessity. Usually, you would think that it’s easily available to every child but it’s not.

Audio recording started: 3:02 AM Sday, September 8, 2024