Life alternative

#Poetry 

Who are we to this world other than hazards to our self 

we thrive on self destruction and wishing we were someone else

We want someone to relate but we don’t tell them how we felt

We’d rather be forgotten and placed upon the Shelf

It’s not death we seek it’s the exclusion from our lives

We feel the only vacation from ourself is the one we get when we die

We don’t feel like we’re living and we’re tired of just getting by 

It’s The fatality of our illness 

It being our choice is just a disguise

We don’t want to kill ourselves but we don’t want to live this life

We want things to get better and we want to feel all right

Or self hatred is so heavy that we don’t deserve mornings light 

we have so many problems that there’s no ending in sight 

we want to be better for you but we’re too tired to put up a fight

And then when we get there we’re in awe of the lack of pain

We don’t feel the anxiety we don’t feel any shame 

We feel the peaceful calm 

Tell me is this a game 

We no longer feel insane

then you bring us back and we will never be the same

But what if we never go there

 we never needed a vacation from ourselves

What if we learned acceptance and we knew how to feel how we felt

What if we had a village that never made us want to be someone else

 what would you do with that extra space 

with one less urn on the Shelf

You should fill it with our picture and love us while we’re alive

Tell us we’re okay and everything is all right

Help us stand back up 

Show there’s a reason to be alive

 if we should heal the body we should definitely heal the mind

If you’re going to love me at all I’d rather you love me alive

Save me from myself -and tell me that you don’t want me to die

Show me I can love myself and prevent a suicide_-