Could we

For me to be sober
Could he have still died?
Could both of us have lived
Without suicide
where would I be
If leaving him weren’t the worst thing I ever did
if he’d given me just a few more days
would he have still did what he did
would he have ever been okay
if he had trusted somebody else
Woul he have stayed would he have still felt how he felt
could we’ve ever existed together
or is this really the way that it’s better
it should have been me
because then he would never
should I have just ended it at all
Our relationship severed
Because in the end all i did was leave
and he told me not to
Not even when he sleeps
Is it really my fault that I thought
he was safe in the hands of our motherp
could the drugs have been laced
Or did she struggle with the burdens of her kids
him testing something for her
The last time he ever did
Could he have been happy
could ever really lived
Was this always a part of the plan
ever since we were kids
because if so then this God is an  insufferable one
To create such a life
And then ended for fun
Do we really have choices
Is there omething I could have been done
Or was this ihis ending when his story begun
What does it say for me
that his death saved my life
And and trying to make him mean something
I’m finally putting up a fight
I’d rather save him instead
I take flight
At least he had a chance
I was never alright
If you trusted somebody else
Wouldn’t it turned out the same
would it change the last words
he said where my name
Was there something I could have said to take away the pain
All that matters now is that your in outer space