Moving on

I used to write in pages and now I’m erasing paragraphs 

I talked to my daughter today and she’s forgotten how he laughs 

now when he’s mentioned it it’s like people try to avoid 

like they’re trying to erase the fact that their isn’t still a void

that radiates through them every time they hear his name 

they wake up they don’t think of him and they go about their day

I almost wish that I could do it but I would never want to forget about our talks 

about how we grew fearless when the night came we found ourselves in these walks

 it’s hard to see your face sometimes 

I know that it’s a struggle for Dad

 I know that you are lucky that you died before he got this bad

 I don’t know why he’s fading quickly if it’s Mom or if it’s the stress

 or if it’s that he feels like a failure as a father when he knew he tried his best 

I wish I would have done something to motivate you to live your life 

I struggle constantly with using either the needle or the knife

 but then your Life means nothing and neither would this time that I’ve been alive 

I hated the only place that I can see you it’s a place I go when I die 

but even that’s getting harder now I’m scared that my life has put you out 

now you’re just a whisper you were the loudest sound 

I live my life daily trying to make up for what’s my fault

 I know I wasn’t there but I still would have answered a call 

that I know you weren’t capable of making because you didn’t see your worth

 your true enemy is the woman that should have loved you since your birth

 I don’t know how I couldn’t see it I didn’t listen to your words

 I didn’t pay attention and that is why your death occurred