4year anniversary

Today was supposed to be the day I died and it’s fitting that I’m alone 

it’s 4 years ago to the day

 that my brother overdosed

 because I didn’t find a place for him 

I had done everything too slow

 the worst thing I’ve ever done for either of us 

Is let either one of us come home 

but we were leaving for Texas soon

 the day was getting close

 he was going to be with my daughter

 he was the person sheLove the most 

I remember his eyes half open

 how the blue had reached his nose 

how it looked like he was frozen 

and didn’t fit inside his clothes

 seeing my dad almost broke me

 worse than any pain I’d ever known

 i hate that it took my brothers last breath to make us finally close 

I know he wakes up every day 

in fear that he finally lost us both

 I feel like I lost and found my father 

and I think that kills me most

 I always want to save him 

but I’ll never even come close