Be like him

Dying seems so simple until it’s time to do it
It’s not like I need motivation or anybody to talk me through it
I keep trying to end myself and then I finally do it
Something keeps bringing me back
And part of me always gets left
I lose it
I don’t know who I am anymore
or how much of this is me
I don’t know my purpose
or who I’m supposed to be
I’m not sure I’m supposed to be here
or why I can barely breathe
I can’t breathe this air anymore
the oxygen is suffocating me
it’s like I should be on another plantet
is there somewhere else I can reside
I need to find a safe place
and somewhere that I can hide
I swear the planets killing me
I’m slowly losing my mind
I lost my ability to function
When my brother committed suicide
and now the world just hates me
but it continues holding me down
I wish I could be like my brother
and get up off the ground
and fly high into outer space
when nobody wants me around
I hope that hes okay now
and that happiness was found
but what did he d0 to deserve it
to get away from this place
we share the way we think
And get told we share our face
why did my brother get to commit this awful disgrace
I think everybody is just jealous
that he got to leave the hate
That everybody felt for him
cuz they didn’t understand
he didn’t understand it and
And thought he was less of a man
I tried to make him see it
I think I was his biggest fan
but nothing can bring you down
like the sound of silence can
the silence that you expect to be filled
with your family’s affection
The silence that you get
when you’re used to somebody’s attention
the silence that’s so loud
when you want to hear someone’s voice
The silence that controls you
when you don’t have a choice
I wish I could end the silence
And maybe fill the void
I feel like he’s waiting for me
But maybe I’m paranoid